Entity
by writedrunkeditsober
Summary: Iggy was beside me, holding my hand, smiling at me majestically. It felt so real. Then I opened my eyes and life came back, just a swing, and the view of leafless trees hugging the sky.
1. Stuck

**WHOA. My First Real FanFic Story. Motivation? I new found obsession for The Maximum Ride novels and utter admiration of Nudge and Iggy as a couple. I've noticed the lack of stories for them two as romance, and decided out of boredom I'd contribute. Its my first, so critisim is very much welcome I guess. Summary I practically Nudge realizing she loves Iggy, but its not that easy. She's going to have to find herself, and try things out, before she realizes whats best and if the pain is worth it. (: **

**Disclaimer: I take no credit for the creation of these characters, though the writing is right fully mine and I refuse to give credit.(:**

**Me No Owny. You No Suey. Get It? Got It? GEWD. 3 **

**CHAPTER ONE : Stuck  
**

I'm stuck, somewhat confused, and a little torn. Why? 'Cause I can't quite put my finger on when this started, or how for that matter. When I began getting these feelings, the rush of flying figures turning my insides and tickling my bones. The drumming beats of my heart always ran faster when he was close. It was never like this, he was my brother. Maybe not by blood but by spirit, but its not like ignoring all the side effects was a possibility. Not at all.

My attempts to forget everything that was happening, for my mind to overrule my heart. But I just couldn't help the fact that his smile painted me red. Bright and perfect, slanted a bit, and so sincere. Even on my darkest days, half smiles from him could light it all up. Not to mention eyes, his eyes, like the ocean, calm and never ending. Holding a world pool of emotions he never seemed to reveal. But hes like my brother, as Max would say. He probably doesn't even see me like that, not that he could see at all.

I guess thats what really adds to it. Being in love, I mean liking, a blind guy. I mean, they can't even see you, yet they can love you. Thats how you know, its not cause your beautiful or 'hot' but because whats inside. I loved everything about Iggy, the face he made where his eyebrow slants low and he half smiles. When he knows hes right, when he stretches his words as he lies. Everything. But it wasn't real, it wouldn't be, it couldn't be, its not. He could never love 'little Nudge'.

"Errm, Nudge is that you?" A voice called out, feet tapping on the stairs making their way to the kitchen. I quickly snapped out of my trance, and wore a look of utter boredom.

"Oh, hey Iggy, yea its me." I replied. He smiled, that smile I adored oh so deeply sending shivers down my backside.

"Ok, well I'm kinda' bored hmm. I might go somewhere with Ella today." He said, reaching into the cabinet for any trace of food he could find. his hands searching about.

Ella. _Ella?_ Max's sister, she seemed nice. I would of been quite the fan if I hadn't notice her obsession with my Iggy. My Iggy...that has a ring to it. ANYWAY. He'd be going out, with Ella? Did he like her? Not that I care, I mean, shes very pretty. Though, he can't see her. God, he likes her and he can't see her! Wait, who said he liked her? They're just, going out, for fun, as friends, yea yea yea thats it.

"Earth to Nudge." Iggy let out, loosely bopping his fingers in her face, "Is anybody in there"

I quickly jumped from my chattering conscience, and stared at him. "Ella. Oh, were are you going...?" I asked curiously, hoping he wouldn't respond with "Moonlight dinner then walk on the beach."

"Not sure, I'll have to ask her. Hey, you wanna' come?" Iggy asked me with such a genuine voice, almost anxious. But I COULD NOT seem desperate. As much as I longed to dance around and scream DUH! I knew it would only make me less attractive. Not that an 17 year old would be attracted to a 14 year old.

"Now Iggs, I wouldn't want to be a third wheel" I simply replied, wondering if I had ruined any chance of spending time with him. But even if I did get time with the blue eyed blind pyro, I did not want Ella there.

He shrugged his shoulders and showed a sign of disappointment when he left the kitchen, "Suit yourself." He choked out as he left. A part of me died, had I let him down? DID HE WANT ME THERE! God, maybe he did. Maybe he couldn't stand having to be with Ella all by himself so she could suck him into her black whole of love that he doesn't want because he loves me! Not that I would want him too, just a hunch. Just looking out for a friend...

**Well there it goes Dolls. Love It, Hate It, REVIEW IT. 3**

**It wasn't much I'm sure, but more to come I hope. TahTah For Now Loves.**

**~*Paint_Em_Red*~**


	2. You Love Iggy

**Well Gee Golly Wiz. Another Chapter. Its a bit short, next one will be longer promise.**

***Same Disclaimer. (lazyness)**

Iggy left over two hours ago! God, she was probably thoroughly sucking his face off! Holding him down or tieing him up. Just then they entered. Iggy's soft laugh was drowned out by the chatter of a girl. Beside him Ella walked, clutching his oh so warm looking arm, and talking to him repeadedly waving her hand around for effect. Just the sight of her alone disgusted me. she was beauitful. Long hair, a face like Max's, tall and slim. She was gorgeous, stunning at that. But gosh, what was I worried about? Its not like she had an advantage, Iggy couldn't see her! He couldn't see her rosy cheeks compared to my caramel skin.

She turned her head my way a bit, and then busted out in complete laughter. Loud and long, as her and Iggy hysterically giggled. Then she spoke, "Hey Nudge! How are you?" with a smirk so victorious, as if she had already won a battle I didn't yet declare. Who was she fooling?

"Fine." I replied, one word answers and a blank face. Like the one Iggy wore at my tone of voice.

"You Ok Nudge?" He asked, almost low, but just high enough for me to hear.

"Just peachy." was all I could come up with. "I bet you had fun today. Hmm?" I ended, making my way to my room. I had finally gotten my own, since Angel spent her nights in Max's room.

What was going on? What was wrong with me! I had the sudden urge to cry and cry for no apparent reason. Well, the reason was quite clear, but I wouldn't dare admit it. There was no way it would ever work. It was impossible. I-I Loved-

"You love Iggy." said a innocent voice from outside the room. I turned my gaze to see a smallish figure lean against the door way.

"Shh! Way to keep a secret Angel." I stood and scooted her young body inside, closing the door behind us.

"So your not denying it!" Angel screeched, smiling deviously at her new found discovery.

"Errm." I searched through the files in my brain for an excuse, "Duh! Why wouldn't I love Iggy? Hes like my brother." I said, pacing my way to sit on the bed. God, Angel could not know, she just could not! No one could...think of how awkward it would be! Max would freak! I have to lie, I can't tell her I love Iggy.

"I can read your mind Nudge." She added, interrupting my thoughts with a victorious grin.

"Oh...yea." I replied, narrowing the space between my eyebrows, cheeks redder then ripe tomatoes.

"Your secrets safe with me..." Angel convinced, making her way out of the room. "I'll see what I can do about it." She giggled running off before I could catch her.

GOD. Angel was NOT about to go make Iggy love me. Though, I was not about to go and stop her..but what if he just didn't. You can't force love, what if he thought it was weird and never spoke to me again. I couldn't let that happen! I couldn't lose him.

**Well. Sneaky Angel(:**

**Next One Longer Promise. Just need a fill in(:**

**Until Next Time ~*Paint_Em_Red*~**


	3. Yolk

**Ok... Here Goes. Chapter 3(: **

***Disclaimer...You Know xD**

It was horrible. They were kissing and taunting. Ella turned to me and laughed proclaiming, "He'll never love you!" and "No one would love a chatter-box!" "He wants a real girl, not a FREAK like you!". Then I jumped up, sweaty and breathing heavily. Nightmare. But maybe Ella was right, Iggy was already blind and winged, why would he want more freakyness? He wouldn't, I was out of my league. I just wiped my forehead and rose from my pink sheeted bed. I made my way downstairs to the kitchen.

"Were is-"

"They all went out. Angel wasn't in the mood for pancakes and insisted Max take everyone out for breakfast. She said I should stay here, till you woke up."

That Angel...

"Oh, well I wouldn't mind some pancakes" I said enthusiastically, batting my eyes his way, though I knew he couldn't tell. "I'm batting me eyes." I whispered, and he smiled big.

"Coming right up your majesty." He said, taking out batter. "From scratch. Help porfavor." He said, batting his big blues. "I'm batting my eyes." he said, mimicking me. I laughed sarcastically.

"Jerk." My comment making his smile only cheesier.

I grabbed a big bowl and cracked an egg, "Hey Iggs, how do those fancy chefs like, crack the egg with one hand? I said trying to, only to crack the egg in my hand. "Ew." I let out.

He busted out laughing, as if knowing of my failure. "Like this," he took an egg and placed it in my gooey hand, then placed his hand around mine. Doing the motion with my hand in his. "..and you pull back like this." he said. His breath on the back of my neck, tickling the loose curls that failed to stay in my pony tail.

"Oh." was all I could say, his hand still on mine.

"Hey Nudge.."

"Mhm" I moaned out.

"Why is your heart beating so fast?" He asked, as if he knew the answer. He smirked and looked in the direction he expected me to be in.

"Errm."

"And, Nudge." he insisted.

"Yea..."

"Why are you so hot..I bet your blushing eh?"

I, in a rush, pulled my hand from under his and rushed to the sink to wash the yoke from it. From my sudden movement I often tripped and spilled a couple things on my way there. Iggy simply ignored my panic and went back to the batter, mixing the eggs with it.

"Get the thingy." He said, flapping his hand and gesturing to a cabinet.

"Thingy? That narrows it down Iggs." I said, hands on my hip with a smile on my face.

"Well, no need to be so saucy. The spiny thingy, that blends the things." He said, laughing at his own ignorance.

"Ok, genius." I said making my way to the cabinet. I got it out and plopped it on the counter next to him.

"Plug it in and blend it together." he said, while running his hands through the fridge for something.

I did as asked. I plugged in a cord, and pressed start. But before I knew it havoc went lose. Out splashed chunks of dough egg and sugar everywhere. Everything Iggy used to make his special pancakes was all over the kitchen. Not to mention that blasted sound of the machine moving. I started screaming and ducking and covering my head. To my surprise, Iggy was laughing loud and hard. He began walking towards me and the machine.

"Stop it! Turn it off!" I yelled to get above the noise.

"I'm not the one who forgot to set it on low!" He pushed through his laughter.

Instead of stopping it he grabbed my hand and waist. And began throwing me around. Humming and laughing, and swinging me like a child. Quite frankly, I enjoyed every bit of it. I ran my hand through his strawberry blond hair, and stop the panic. Instead I laughed along with him, and swayed to the moment. Then a sudden handful of pancake powder was plopped on my head, as if I wasn't already covered in egg.

"Hahahaha." Iggy let out tons of laughter.

"Oh you think thats funny!" I yelled through my smile, grabbing an egg from the corner, "Too bad you can't see this coming." I smashed the egg shell on his head, causing yolk to drip down his face. His laughter faded a bit, to a look of shock. He took the bowl of batter and through it my way, causing slime to fall all over me.

I began chasing him around the island in the kitchen. Then he slipped on what was most likely egg, and had no shame in pulling me down with him. We both hit the floor with a slam. We lied in silence for about a minute, just before Iggy chucked out laughter loud and happy. So innocent, it made my stomach bubble up in admiration.

"God, all I wanted was some pancakes." I let out, still lightly giggling.

"You did this!" I yelled back at him. But I couldn't help but smile, and chuckle at his nonchalant attitude towards the mess we had made.

He took his finger and slid it across my face picking up excess mess. He licked his finger and let out a sigh, "Its almost as good."

Then we heard it, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE." she yelled, both of us standing up almost a second after her scream. Max sounded angry as ever.

"Guys, look at this mess! What happened!" Max said, toning down her anger a bit.

"We tried making pancakes but the blendy thingy went out of control. Nudge is confused, and I'm blind, thus you have this mess I wish I could see." Iggy said, almost proud, like he was unafraid of whatever consequence Max had in store. She just stood there, then smiled softly and dropped her arms to her sides.

"Just clean it up guys." She said as she and everyone left the kitchen. Angel looked at me and winked, causing me to just roll my eyes.

I bent down to pick up shells when Iggy grabbed my wrist. "Just go get some grub Nudge I know your probably starving, I'll take care of everything." he said sweetly. But I didn't want to leave, I wanted to be with Iggy. Plus, he couldn't even see what he was cleaning. But I followed his wishes, and left the room to get my coat. On my way out Iggy turned to the sound of the door, and smiled as if knowing I was there. I smiled back, almost positive he could see me.

**There It Goes Babes. I tried my hardest to get a gushy cute moment between the two. Well, the next chapter will be a break through for Nudge. I've started it, but wont post it till I'm finished(: Spoilers? One. Word...or name that is._ Kiyah._**

**~*Paint_Em_Red*~**


	4. Bright Eyes

**Well, Ok, Back On Track Hmm. (: Here In This Chapter Nudge Meets Someone Who Just Might Change Her Life. OR Ruin It. xD**

***Disclaimer: You Know...**

I got back, with the very much loved McDonalds in my hand.

"Iggy." I called out, searching the house for him, "I brought you an Egg McMuffin." I said, taking it out and waving it in my hand as if I was attracting a dog.

I walked towards the living room to see my death sentence. There he was, with her. Iggy and Ella sat on the couch chattering on, their fingers intertwined and resting on her lap. I choked back tears, and she saw me.

"Hey Nudge." she said, flashing me a smile. Iggy turned around as well and a small smile sprouted on his face, then quickly faded.

"I brought you an Egg McMuffin..." I repeated under my breathe, keeping my head from dropping down before me.

"Thanks!" He called out, coming to me and grabbing the sandwich from my hand, then embracing me and crushing my bones like he had just crushed my heart. He practically, sent me out to get food so he could be with Ella? ELLA! Just the thought knotted my insides. I shrugged him off me, and he showed a face of worry and confusion. "Something wrong?" he mumbled so only I could hear him.

"Just cause your blind doesn't mean you have to be stupid Iggy." I retorted his way. Then bend to the side to get a view of Ella. She looked worried, concerned, nice. Here I was making her out to be this demon when really, she was just like me. "Bye Ella." I smiled rudely, and waved at her. Then glared at Iggy, though he couldn't see me, and walked off.

I had to leave this place, I had to get out. I ran towards the door and down the stairs. Then ran till I found out where I was going. I ended up somewhere in the middle of the city. Outside were stands and shops were around, like a giant mall. I stopped to catch my breath, then flung my head up only to hit something. It must of been living cause it let out a big loud, "Shit!"

I looked up to see a figure, holding their head, then raising it to see me. The world stopped for a second, just so I could examine every detail. It's skin wasn't pale like Iggy's, nor light brown like mine. It was a bit tan, but not quite so. It's eyes were of a yellowish hazel, like a cat's orbs. When he saw me he smiled. I always seemed to fall fast, but right now I was spiraling down. Iggy's smile was a half smirk, except when he laughed. My smile was big and goofy. This smile, it was perfect. Straight, bright, and dead on. It was full, and the lips that huged it were pink and soft looking. Like clouds in an endless sky.

"Sorry about that." He said, his smile still contained on his face. I was sure it was a boy, he had black spiky hair. Not a Mohawk, nothing too extreme. Just medium length spikes. The ring on his nose glistened from the sun.

"Its...ok." I answered, almost lost. I was still studying him. He had a long face, chinky Asian like eyes, though I was sure he wasn't so. He was tall, not as tall as Iggy, but taller then I. He had black pants down to his flat shoes, and a chain that hung from his pocket. He was different, surely, not one I would go for. Then why couldn't I stop staring at him?

He wiggled his palm in my face, "Something wrong?" he said.

Snapping back to reality, I blinked hard and blushed a bit at my foolishness, "Perfect." I said, smiling after the last syllable.

"Errrm, ok then." He said, beginning to make his way past me, his shoulder brushed mine making my arm shake. I turned to watch him go, a black blob making its way farther and farther into the crowd. _Turn around if I'll see you again_. I thought, highly knowing things like this never worked, but being in the flock showed me signs do matter.

I studied him in the distance, not too far, but soon disappearing. He flinched, then turned his torso around. He smiled at me and waved. Then went and kept walking. Soon he was gone. But being in the flock, showed me signs do matter.

**Well, there goes. Iggy has some competition. (: But, It might not turn out how you expect ._.**

**~*Paint_Em_Red*~**


	5. The Way You Do

**Well, here it is! More of a fill in chapter, but theres something in in that shows off the future chaps. xD**

**Hope It Fulfills Your Needs**

***Disclaimer: Me No Owny. You No Suey. Get It? Got It? GEWD.**

When I got home, I completely ignored Iggy's attempt to talk to me. The flock seemed awfly concerned, but I acted as if I hadn't a clue what was going on. As if I wasn't mad, but Iggy felt the wraft. The whole day he wore a look of confusion, and guilt. His eyes stared at me as if they pleaded "sorry Nudge". He couldn't catch my facial expressions, but my tone of voice seemed to say it all. I was in my room now, my pink covered bed with the lights off. The only source of bright leaking through the window.

The sky never looked so big, so wide and never ending. Dark blue eating the air, and twinkles of bright white. Full moon tonight, and I couldn't remember the last time I spread my wings. They fluttered behind my back at the thought of stretching out, light brown in the dark midnight. I let go of my legs, and walked towards the window. Opening it and sticking my slim body through. I flew off of the house and into the night, taking every emotion with me.

Soon everything drew a blank. The chilling wind brushed against my legs, and shook my shorts around. *Note To Self : Next time I plan on flying in the night, don't wear shorts and a tank top.

All I had been feeling vanished at the comfort of flying. I loved flying, it was a gift. Its what drew me apart from everyone one else, from being normal. I knew normal was far from what I was, and I was never really fond of not being so, but when I flew it was like nothing mattered. Just me and the never ending sky, so the wind could whisper in my ear all the reasons I was lucky. Maybe I didn't have Iggy yet, but I still had my wings.

The feeling escaped for a second when tension filled the air, and I felt like I was being watched. A shadow passed, causing me to shift around. Though, as expected, nothing was in sight. I lowered myself to a forest. Walking through tall lean trees with emerald droopy leaves.

My bare feet collected dirt with each step. But the tension never left. I heard ruffling through leaves and turned to the direction of the sound. All that was there was a bird, small and black sitting on a branch. But something was different about it, it had eyes like a cat, yellow and oval shaped, and quite intense. It almost felt familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I stared blankly at it for a moment, when someone called out,

"Nudge! Where are you?" Iggy's voice spoke.

"Iggy?" I responded, spinning slowly to look for him.

"There you are." He came out from behind big branches.

"What are you doing here?" I scoffed at him, as I continued walking through the woods. He followed after me, us both moving slowly.

"Can you tell me." He said blankly, making it beside me.

"Tell you what?" I responded, as if I didn't already know what was next.

"Why you're mad? I mean, comon' Nudge, I might be blind but I know when someone is avoiding me. I just wanna' know what I did."

"Iggy, don't sweat it. There are bigger and better things in the world." I replied, walking faster.

"So you're not mad? Wait, what is that supposed to mean?" He said confused, catching up to me.

"Figure it out." I said sarcastically, spreading my wings and taking off into the sky, in the direction of home.

I flew and flew, the wind roughly slapping me in the face. My bare legs shivered, but my wings smiled and laughed in joyfulness. Then something bright and creamy brushed against the tips of my wings.

"Did you forget I could fly too." Said his voice, just as sarcastic and victorious as usual. Just as beautiful and attractive as usual. I smiled, but didn't speak. I just let his tips tickle mine. "I'm sorry Nudge." He whispered, as he always did, making sure it was low but high enough for me to hear.

It took a while for me to speak, and the silence hadn't seemed to kill him like I expected. He was calm and quiet. The sound was low enough for me, and my intense hearing, to hear our heart beats. They beat together, as one. I could hear his soft short breaths. His fingers brushed mine, and he grabbed my hand. Patiently waiting for a response. So I swiftly answered, "I know Iggy, I know."

**There you go! Nudge forgives Iggy, even though hes not quite sure what he did. And because of this, he still doesn't know Nudge loves him(:**

**More Ahead Loves.**

**REVIEW :O**

**~*Paint_Em_Red*~**


	6. Guardian Angel

**I got such prettyful reviews, so I knew I had to update fast. Not sure about this chapter, I had to bring Kiyah into somehow. Tried to make it long loves. Hope It Makes You Happy(: **

**Happy Readers = Happy Me xD**

***Disclaimer : DUH.**

**Chaptah Six!**

God, I really loved the city. Like a zoo of all different kinds of creatures, lions and tigers and bears, Oh my! And everyone who walked it like another zebra, never the same stripes as the previous one. Whenever I seemed in need to escape, to get away from everything, to breath, I found myself lurking the streets. Sure, as a young girl I was pray to all these spike tooth animals, but that fear didn't compare to that of never getting to breathe the city smoke again.

It was loud, like someone repeatedly playing a Balalaika (whatever that is) in my ear drum. But the noise of the city felt like home, not sure why, but it was soothing and calming and my favorite song. Not to forget, the little breeze you get when cars rush down the street at millions of miles per hour, blowing blasts through your hair. The city shops tall enough to tickle clouds, and stands with people, hot dogs, ice cream, the works. The feel without it was like a hangover after 100 shots, I would suppose.

I guess thats why I found myself there. Strolling down Sixth Avenue, there was a little spot around, surrounded by multiple genres of stores. I looked about at the names, some French, some cheesy, and some down right ridiculous. There was a store with glass doors and windows, much like the others, titled "Snakes and Lizards". A name that told absolutely nothing about the place, or what they sold. The clear glass windows were covered by dark curtains, so I insisted on stepping inside.

There was a deep black carpet, and the lights quite dim. The dark walls were splattered with colorful paint, and all around were hangers filled with different things. One side had shirts, most dark, and some graphical with words and catch phrases that made me giggle as I read them. Then brighter shirts, with band names on them I suppose. More clothes then anything else, bracelets, and things way off of my charts. I felt a bit out of place, some wandering eyes watching me as I walked through the store. A puffy haired girl decked out in a pink sweater and jeans, obviously the brightest thing in the store.

I made my way to more hangers, passing a black painted coffee table, and picked up a shirt that was quite intriguing. It was black, far from my taste, but oddly noticeable.

"I didn't think that was your style." He said, his voice quite raspy, and sarcastic.

"What?" I said turning around, face to face with bright sunny eyes, that smiled thin. I was close enough to feel the air escaping his nose as he breathed. His spikes tall as ever.

"You don't really seem like, the goth type." He added, his hands in his pocket as he slowly rocked forward and backwards, still close.

"What makes you think that, stranger." I retorted, smiling, and turning to escape whatever voodoo trance he had me in.

He let out a ha, then walked to stand beside me. We stared close, at a dark wall, lined across were posters in white rimmed cases, and numbers below indicating how to find it. We stared up memorized at all the different ones, from playgirls to guns, animals to zombies, and everything in between. He reached over me to turn to the next one, his long arm stretching past my eyes.

"Ahh, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus," He let out, so calm, and care free. "...A personal favorite of mine."

"I like Guardian Angel, by them..." I mumbled almost under my breath. His face changed a bit, like he wasn't prepared to hear me know what he was speaking of.

"Really?"

"Yea, its...sweet." I responded, nice and slow.

"Oh, sorry for running into your face the other day. I could of ruined it." He choked out, as if we had been life long friends.

_I could of ruined it?_ Was he indicating my face wasn't ruined? Thats a good thing, right? Was that an attempt at a compliment? I must of been thinking too long, cause in my peripheral vision I could see his chinky eyes slide to the right, to get a glimpse at me.

"No problem,...erm." I turned to him, waiting for him to finish my sentence.

"Kiyah. Its Kiyah." He added, reaching over once more to turn the poster.

"I'm Nudge." I responded shortly after, staring deep and hard to the next poster. One of those, illusion things, that if you stare hard enough things start to move. People thought that was cool, then again, its not like they've seen flying wolf gorillas that chase after kids with wings.

"Nudge?" He said, hinting that obviously my name was not of the usual.

"Long story." I responded, moving on from the topic, not having to explain that under this Aeropastale sweater were tan wings.

"Got it." He said. We hadn't seemed to be good at conversations, but for some reason, I wouldn't of wanted to be anywhere else, then here now talking to him. We stayed silent for a couple of more posters, then he stopped turning, and turned to me, "I'm bored." he let out, so dead on. Like he didn't care, he was bored and that was that, nothing less nothing more.

"Oh...kay? Are you expecting me to entertain you?" I said, smiling at my own shrillness.

"No, I was just hoping you'd let me entertain you." He said, smirking.

"How do you plan to do that." I said, placing my hands on my hips.

"Follow me." And the most devious smile spread on his face.

**Not my best work, but Its something.**

**Next Chapter Should Be Up Soon. Toodles For Now Darlings.**

**~*Paint_Em_Red*~**


	7. Protect Me

**I feel like my chapters with Kiyah aren't as well as the rest. But I never doubt my work. Honestly, I have an idea of what I'm going to do. But I don't want to rush straight into it. Any event or idea suggestions would be DANDY (: **

***Disclaimer: Yea.**

**Here Goes...**

"Oh **_hellz_** no." I argued, reluctantly staring at what lyed before me.

"Comon' Nudgy it will be fun." Nudgy, and hour at most and I had already acquired a nick name. I loved it, or is it that I preferred it over the usual "Nudge-Channel"

"No. No. AND NO. If you think I'm gonna let you throw me on some stick with wheels, and push me, your crazy." I protested. Kiyah's small chuckles caressing my ear drums.

"It will be fun!" He added, in total attempt to get me going. His tiny eyes grew smaller as his smile grew wider.

"I'm too young to die!" I pleaded, stomping my feet like a four year old.

"You won't die...just, get hurt a little." he responded, shrugging his shoulders. I glared at him with _"are you kidding me"_ eyes. "Besides, I wouldn't let you get hurt." He added, his smirk sincere and heartfelt. Was this another attempt at a compliment? Whatever it was, it was working.

I eyed the skate board, and managed to take in my surroundings. Ramps everywhere, and people doing their thing. Colors splattered around the rails and ramps, and graffiti in every corner. Guys with long shaggy hair and hats, skating and doing tricks. Look at my competition, I was NOT about to make a fool of myself.

"I promise." he added, batting his eyes. It only reminded me of Iggy, and breakfast three days ago. How everything he did only dug me in deeper. And when I looked at Iggy, my whole world stopped. But when I looked at Kiyah, my whole world came to life. I crossed my arms in thought, and focused. Looking back and forth from his skull designed skateboard, to everything around us.

"Fine." I choked out, hoping I wouldn't regret this.

"Yes!" He yelled up, pumping his fist in cheer, it was down right adorable. "Ok, for starters, standing on it would be a good idea." He said sarcastically, and I rolled my eyes. I stood on it, but the wheels decided they'd just go and dance around a bit, causing me to stumble. I waved my arms in attempt to catch myself. Firm hands grabbed my slim waist, and a finger managed to touch the open skin that stuck out from the bottom of my sweater. "Watch out klutz." He spoke to me, smirking and winking, then placing me straightly on his board. When he let go, I felt a part of me die, and I'd kill just to get his hand to hold me again.

"So how does thi-WHOA!" I screamed out, and soon I was riding down to nowhere on four unsteady wheels. I could hear Kiyah laughing in the distance, surely you would think someone would be kind enough _NOT_ to push a "klutz" on a skateboard. I swirled my arms back and forth, trying at the least to stay on the board. Then things stopped spinning and I could actually see what was ahead of me. Things were flying by fast, and my brown curly hair ruffled in the wind.

"I'm doing it! I'm doing it Kiyah!" I yelled out, with all my power trying not to jump up and down and clap my hands together. "Wait, whoa! How do you stop this thing!" I screamed out, the speed making my words break up in parts. _Oh Shit._

Panic. Yea, panic couldn't come close to the beat of my heart. From behind me I could see Kiyah running towards me. His face was intense, yet when he saw me stare back at him, he managed a calm smile that said "everything is going to be alright"

I crashed straight into a garbage tank, you know, those big green slimy ones that held multiple bags and just screamed death trap. Yep, one of those. The skateboard stopped at the impact, but I managed to flip over straight into it. I plopped onto a black full garbage bag. Something sharp poking me from through the plastic. Almost a split second after, Kiyah poked his head out from the top. His arms crossed and leaning onto the rim, he smiled.

"Whats so funny!" I yelled at him, throwing a can at his head. It bounced of this tip, causing him to flinch a bit.

"That even surrounded by garbage, your still oddly attractive." He commented, neglecting the can to the head. I blushed bright red. I tried to get up, but touched something slimy. I looked at my dirty, gooey hand.

"Ew, ew ew! Ew what is this, ew ew. Oh my god, ew!" I panicked, shaking around. Kiyah laughed, his subtle and silent laugh, then plopped himself into the trash, legs first.

"Calm down. I've been through worst." He commented, lying down beside me.

"Well, I'm not quite used to this." I said, though I was quite used to other things, erasers, blood, being on the run, heartache.

"You'll get used to it, since you're going to be with me a lot." He said, his hand rested on his stomach, and the other at his side.

"What makes you think I'll be with you a lot." I added, nudging him as best I could, being in our condition.

"I'm intent on making it so." He said, "I like you Nudge. I like being with you. I intend on keeping it that way." He said, in such a new way. He wasn't like Iggy. Iggy was shy, and sweet, romantic. But Kiyah was straight foward, and daring, and spontaneous. Iggy was the roller-coaster, but Kiyah was the rush.

"I could get used to that." I added.

He smiled and half laughed, and I placed my hand on him. I brushed the goo from my hand on his pants, and laughed hysterically, holding my stomach.

"I expected that." he said, laughing with me, a laugh I never heard escape his mouth. It was so, _real_, and he turned to tickle me, and I laughed even more. I laughed a laugh I had never felt escape my mouth, it was so,_ real._

**Ok my Pretties. God, I'm really trying here, to make Kiyah's character pop out. Anywho, ideas and suggestions would be MUCHO APPRECIATED at this point. My little brain can only handle so much(:**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. They make me happy(:**

**~*Paint_Em_Red*~**_  
_


	8. Advice PLEASE

**Ehh. Decided to skip to Christmas(: It leaves a lot of ideas on the path. This is more of a fill in chapter for my brain farts. I know exactly whats gonna happen for the next two. I try to update as quick as I can xD**

***Disclaimer: Me No Owny. You No Suey. Get It? Got It? GEWD.**

A week from Christmas. A week from bright blinding lights, and pine smells, a week from gifts and laughs and smiles. It was true, the Holiday season was the best of all. It was the time everyone came together, when everybody forgot their issues and laughed till they were red in the face. I loved Christmas time, and the smell of cookies all over the house. Chocolate chip to be exact, for Max.

Mrs. Martinez was letting us have Christmas with her and Ella this year. I would of been quite ecstatic if Ella wasn't part of the picture. More Ella basically meant less Iggy. I've seen her around often, at the house with Iggy, leaving the house with Iggy, coming home with Iggy. Then again, she'd possibly seen me a lot too, in town with Kiyah, laughing with Kiyah, being with Kiyah. I didn't know if I should feel guilty, that I was losing my love for Iggy, and giving it to someone I'd just met. Then again, its not like Iggy was trying to get it back.

I was sitting at one of the green stools in the kitchen, leaning hopelessly on my hand, staring into infinity. Max walked in, wearing nothing more then a long T-shirt, possibly with shorts hiding under it. It wasn't much like Max, but I didn't bother questioning her. Her hair hung out, as it always did, so knot-less and smooth, unlike my puff. She was attractive, older, wiser, more experienced. It couldn't hurt to ask...

"Hey Max, can I borrow a second of your time?" I asked, lifting my head from my arm, and giving her full attention. She got out from looking through the fridge, pealed her banana, and leaned against the counter.

"Sure Nudge, shoot." She responded, sinking her teeth into sweet yellow substance.

"I need...advice." I added, adjusting myself in my stool.

"Advice? Mind being more specific." She retorted.

"Boy...advice." I shamelessly choked out, bowing my head and blushing in embarrassment.

She raised her eyebrows and smirked, "Oh, I see! Well, what do you want to know." She said, coming closer to the counter.

"Wait! So your ok with me, you know, needing, b-boy advice." I stuttered still oddly embarrassed at the thought.

"Nudge, your becoming older now," she chuckled, "..and as much as I wish I could, I can't control you forever."

We both giggled, like little girls, even if it wasn't true, Max was my sister._ No doubt about it._

"I've known this boy, for just about _thee_ longest time! And...I think I'm in love with him." I jotted out, trusting her with my every syllable.

"Whoa there horsey. Love is a strong word." She said, getting up and rummaging through the cabinets for more grub.

"Theres more..." I added, shying once more.

"More? Well look whos on a role. Mind hooking me up?" she joked, and we both laughed hard.

"Theres another boy, a new boy, but it seems like hes the only one giving me signals, and I dunno' what to do!" I cried out, pleading for help.

"Oh Nudge. Torn between two. Theres not much I can say, just, don't leave the person you love for the person you like. 'Cause the person you like might end up leaving you for the person _they_ love." she said solemnly, grabbing a snack pack and walking out of the kitchen leaving me there to fend for myself.

I understood what Max said, but it wasn't much help. 'Cause I didn't know which one I loved, and which one I just liked a whole lot.

**Eh, there it goes my pretties. *SPOILERS* I see a kiss on the way :O but with who? Hmmm. Dunno(:**

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**~*Paint_Em_Red***~


	9. Who Wouldn't?

**I wasn't going to update today, but I got estremely bored. I did an Ella & Iggy fic, if you wanna check it out xD.**

**Dunno If I'll be updating tomorrow, its my Birthday(: But I'll try my damned hardest!. Not sure if your going to like this chapter, don't hate cause Iggy went down on the love bar(:. 3**

***Disclaimer: Must I Really?**

Iggy was unbelievably adorable when he was frustrated. Being blind and all, he lived on sensing and hearing things, feeling the floor, spotting colors. That made two places hell for him, carnivals, and the city. That sucked being that the city made my heart go bumbumbum, but it made him go dundundun.

He held his ears, and wore a face of disgust, "God, I don't know why you love this place so much Nudge." he uttered, as we walked down the sidewalk.

I had my hands in my pocket, taking in everything we passed by. I must of seen it a thousand times, but each time felt like the first.

"Who wouldn't?" I responded, "I mean, look at this place, you could never get bored here!" I exclaimed, my voice high and excited.

"I don't know what your talking about." He said, hands still on his ears. It wasn't doing him any justice, with super hearing and all.

"Geez Iggy, mind letting loose for once? No one has fun on farms, unless you like milking cows." I retorted, Iggy preferred the country over the city any day.

"Did you know that, a drop of sour milk can contain more than 50 million bacteria." He yelled out, like such a nerd, so interested.

"Ew Iggy, just ew." Is all I could say, walking a bit faster.

I looked at across the street, something I hadn't bothered to notice once before. A park, smallish, typical, green grass and faded signs. Empty of course, if you don't count the child on the slide, with their awkward young looking mother.

Iggy seemed to be rambling on about something when I cut him off, "Swings Iggy!" I yelled.

"Oh god, no." He mumbled, and was reluctant to follow when I pulled his arm.

"Race you there." I yelled, pushing him, and storming towards the park. That was enough to get Iggy running. I could hear him speed up behind me, his steps bouncing high above the sound of my energy. I passed trees of green, and poles of gray, looking back now and again to see Iggy close behind me, and giggling.

I beat him there, of course, plopping on one of the rusty old swings, and rocking myself. I went high, higher then most, and if the swing would let me, I'd be in the sky. Iggy sat on the other to my right, catching his breathe, while I laughed. I let the wind flow through my bright brown hair, tingling through the curls. The wind felt like heaven on my skin.

"I won." I teased, swinging up and down.

"You cheated." he defended, just sitting on the swing as if it was a chair.

"Sore loser!" I taunted him, laughing at his misery, it was adorable.

"Fine Nudge, believe what you want, but I know the truth!" he chanted, I simply ignored him.

"Are you gonna' just sit there, party pooper?" I said, noticing his reluctance to move.

"I don't swing. Not natural for a blind guy to go up and down, and not know where hes going." Iggy said, almost embarrassed.

"Iggy, if you haven't noticed, you fly, and you don't know where your going. Swinging isn't much different, if not easier." I debated. Rolling my eyes.

"When I fly, I don't kick my legs in and o-" he started, but I took no guilt in cutting him off.

"-But you bop your wings up and down, no difference really." I said.

Iggy rolled his perfect blue orbs, then smirked at me, as I just flew through the air. "Fine." he said, shutting his eyes tight as he started to get a go at it. I found it pointless, since he couldn't see anyway. But, at the same time, I found it Iggy, and that alone was enough.

He started off slow, then started to go faster, keeping up with my pace. "I think I'm doing he it." He said ordinarily, as if it wasn't much of a stretch to him.

"Ha, I believe so." i answered swiftly, as I felt my hand get brushed. Iggy's hand found mine, and our swings went up and down together, I looked at him. His eyes were closed, and he was smiling. I tried to picture what he might be seeing, somewhere in his mind. I lay my head back on the air, and closed mines as well. It was blue, blue sky and clouds, I felt like my wings were out, and I was soaring through the atmosphere. Iggy was beside me, holding my hand, smiling at me majestically. It felt so real. Then I opened my eyes and life came back, just a swing, and the view of leafless trees hugging the sky.

Then I saw him, making his way closer to the park. Wearing the same smile that made me, want to smile as well. The yellow still burning from his thin eyes. I let go of Iggy's hand and hopped of the swing, landing swiftly on my feet. I walked closer to the gate, then ran out to get around. Iggy noticed I had moved, and followed my footsteps.

I stopped, and smiled watching him come closer. Iggy stood beside me and whispered my way, "What? What is it?" He asked, obviously wondering what I was staring at, if I was staring at all. I didn't bother answering him a long and detailed response about this guy that I ran into, literally. So I saved myself the trouble.

"Kiyah." I whispered back, and Kiyah was practically in front of us now.

"Hey Nudgy." He greeted, sucking in a breath, then looking up at Iggy curiously.

I stared at him a second, completely happy to be seeing him. Then I snapped back to reality, "Oh so sorry! Kiyah this is my brother Iggy. Iggy this is,..Kiyah." God...I just said "_my brother Iggy_". Iggy straightened up when I uttered it. What was happening?

"Oh, hey dude. Pleasure." Kiyah said, sticking out his hand for a good shaking.

"Hes blind.." I mumbled under my breath.

"But I'm not stupid." Iggy added, defensively, sticking his hand out in search for Kiyah's, then shaking it reluctantly.

Kiyah made a face at that, then shook it off and smiled at me. "Hey Nudge, want to go eat? I'm starv!" He said, gesturing to behind him, where thousands of food places obviously lurked.

"Duh!" I added, "Iggy, do you want to come?" I asked, almost forgetting he was there. The air was quite tense.

"No." He said straight forward, unlike himself.

"Oh.." I said, crest-fallen.

"Its ok dude." Kiyah said cooly, and he walked off, "C'mon Nudge." he added as he walked.

"I don't like him." Iggy mumbled his Nudge mumble, where only I could hear it. And I simply responded, how I did with everything Iggy hated and I loved. I walked backwards, and turned to catch up with Kiyah. I yelled out behind me,

"Who wouldn't."

**Ahh(: I kind of feel bad for Iggy, but next chapter is total NIGGY. 3 I think this was my longest chapter(: Reviews Let Me Know This Is Worth Typing(: So...**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW :O 3**

**TahTah Beautifuls.**

**~*Paint_Em_Red*~**


	10. Green Curse

**SORRY LOVES. Birthday Weekend, totally forgot to update! This is longish, to make up for it. Hope you like it xD I did it sweating in the dark with a back ache...3**

***Disclaimer: The Usual**

As I looked around the room, I saw beautiful faces. Bright and glowing, happy, laughing, with smiles bigger then sky. I could see it all, see my family, how amazing they really were as they giggled and reminenced. Max gently slapping Gazzy's shoulder as he joked, and looking down at Fang contently. Ella next to Iggy, smiling softly and scanning the room, and as jealous as I should be that his arm was over hers, I wasn't the least bit so. Angel bright pink and cheerful, Ms. Martinez sitting on the couch, watching us sweetly. And Iggy, oh Iggy, smilinging at everyone as if he could see us. But that was the thing, to all of us, we were perfectly normal. We were a family, and me, I was complete.

"Earth to Nudge." Max said, snapping me out of my trance.

"Hmm?" I mumbled, blinking hard.

"I said, pass the cookies." She said, gesturing towards her oh so favorite chocolate chip. The smell lingering in the air, knotting my stomach in hunger. I ignored it, and grabbed one for her.

"NOW MAX!" Angel yelled, pleading, she'd been waiting for 12:00 all day. We weren't very traditional, but all very impatient. So every Christmas Eve, at 12 o'clock, we all opened one present. Usually the one Ms. Martinez bought for us, we liked saving the ones from the flock for Christmas morning. Angel ran to the tree, a sad tree really, not very grand, yet bright and decorated.

We all giggled at Angel's innocent excitement, and Max nodded. We went to sit around the tree, and Max searched for the gifts, them all tangled in branches. She pulled out some, handing one for Angel, Ella, and Fang. She gave Iggy one light green, a bow bright red slipping off the top. I saw her come at me with a yellow box, small, and tied with a blue bow.

"Here Nudge." She said, then went back behind the tree. I scanned it for a second, just watching how detailed it was wrapped. The yellow of the box was bright and demanding, reminding me so much of the days I spent with my cat eyed lover boy. Then the blue was rapped around it, deep and smooth, hidden yet showing, matching Iggy's fine orbs. They were always on my mind, no matter the moment. I snapped my head and came back to reality. I read the tag, _To Nudge, you're a very special girl From Ella_, said a girly, swirly, script.

I looked at it, determining a way that wouldn't require me to murder the time taken box. I slowly pulled the ribbon, untying the bow. Then took the cover off the box, surrounded by cushion wasn't what I expected. Not jewelry, nothing quite expensive. Instead were tickets, two, to some fair that must be coming up. It was a hot winter, and on-the-road carnivals took no shame in taking advantage of it. A note on top read,_ we need to spend more time together (; ._

That very moment I felt like the worst person alive. Worst then a serial killer of 17, or a cannibal. I made Ella the satin in all the fairy tales, when really she was the good guy. I looked up at her, and her face glowed. It was blushed a bit in suspense, but happy, and questioning. It took all my shame to smile brightly at her, I looked back at the tickets. Then gently put them back in the yellow box, and closed it.

I looked at everyone, Angel ecstatically looking at the new purple dress Ms. Martinez had bought her. Max playing with whatever device she attained. Iggy looking at the new clothes he'd gotten, obviously not his style. Gazzy a bomb kit, of course.

"I'll be in my room." I said sweetly, so they wouldn't think I was mad, I took my yellow box and raced up the stairs. On my way to my room I saw the blue door that sang my name. I turned to it, it read in white letters, "Iggy". I stared it down for a second, debating my next action, then touched the doorknob and opened the door. It creaked loudly, and I quickly got inside. His whole room was blue, giving it a dark dim. The moons light shined from his huge window. I walked towards it, and used all my girly strength to open it. A big space led to the outside, and wind blew through my hair tickling my senses. I leaned against the rim and just breathed. The air feeling like heaven through my body.

"Next time I'll put a sign that says do not enter." He said, making his was next to me. His arm brushing against mine as he also leaned on the window.

"Sorry." I said, not turning his way, just giving my attention to the night sky. "Your window is huge." I added, and chuckled a little under my breath.

"I know right? But its better, for late night flying and all." He added.

"I have to squeeze myself through mine!" I responded, and we both laughed. "Its beautiful, out there." I said, gesturing to the moon and sky.

"So I've heard." He added, almost crest-fallen. I suddenly remembered his blindness. Its just that, when I'm with him, I can almost forget all I'll problems. Hes normal to me.

"Its dark blue, almost black. The moon tonight is round, full, bright. Like, a big white dot, that glows around the rims." I looked him, and he stared hard into the night, "..and, theres not a lot of stars out, so, its just big and empty. Never ending." I added.

"Thanks." He said, smiling from the side of his lips. I nodded.

"Oh." I said surprised, looking up from something green hanging from the window. _Couldn't be._

"What?" He asked curiously.

"Its...nothing," I said quickly, panicked, "..Lets go, they are waiting downstairs.

"No, tell me." he said commandingly.

"Mistletoe..." I mumbled under my breath, head low.

Iggy's lips grew wide in a smirk then dropped suddenly. "Oh?" he said.

"I know, its stupid, lets just go." I said, turning away.

"Wait." he said, and I turned back to him. My heart running faster then race cars. He looked up at the green curse, then back to me. Then he leaned in, slowly, closing his eyes. As I watched him come towards me I stayed still, shocked, ready. Then he let out a big, "Ow!" holding his eye as something deep black flew by. I opened my eyes to see an owl, a black owl, with skinny eyes bright as sun. I almost re-thought my first accusation of it being an owl. It's familiar eyes looked back at me, almost pleading, it as creepy. Then it flew out of the window, disappearing into the dark.

I looked at Iggy concerned and still confused and spooked. "You ok?" I asked, obviously knowing he wasn't.

He laughed a little, then looked up at me, "How is it?" He asked. I looked at his eye, red a bit, water, but no harm done.

"Fine." I answered. Then we just stared at each other. The perfect moment was just ruined by a bird. A BIRD!. God..

"Iggy, Nudge, come down here." Max called down from the stair case. I shrugged my shoulders, "That was a failure, sorry Iggs." I said, turning and heading for the door.

But then soft hands gripped my arm, and spun me back around. My lips joined with soft sugary cushions. He smiled into the kiss, and I just let him lead. I was in utter shock, and complete utopia. Then my lips were released, and I heard the door close behind me.

I opened my eyes to only see the window, and the green curse hanging from it. He was gone, but I could still feel his smooth lips pressed hard against mine. The feeling would never go away.

**There goes loves, your kiss, and your Niggy moment(: Hope it was fulfilling.**

**I had to edit twice, cause it didn't save. If theres any mistakes, I'm so sorry ;o**

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**Until Next Time,**

**~*Paint_Em_Red*~**


	11. You Just Lost It

**Guys, big report I had to do yesterday, but I made sure I updated today(: Its a bit short and all, but its worth it.**

**For who asked, the "green curse" is the Mistletoe. 'Cause its green, and its like a curse since you have to kiss whoever is under it with you(:  
**

***Disclaimer: ...No Owny blahblah yea.**

How could something that felt so right, seem so wrong? Ask Iggy, cause I've been dying to know.

If theres one thing thats obvious about me, its that talking is so my thing. And because of that, being ignored was my biggest weakness. When Iggy kissed me I felt the world start spinning, and my heart dancing with its motion. So, why did it turn out like this?...

Christmas morning I woke up smiling, the sun lurking through my blinds. I could hear the thumps of foot steps racing down the stairs, and excited screeching. I flipped over the blanket, and rose from the bed. Opening the door and making my way to the stair case, following after Angel and Gazzy. When I got downstairs I could see everyone around the tree. Iggy looked at the direction of the staircase and then looked back to the tree. I didn't find anything of it weird, being that he was blind and all.

I took a seat next to Ella, who of course sat next to Iggy. Presents were passed around, and the ecstatic surprised faces of my family filled the room. All except Iggy's nonchalant expression and neglect to look my way. I got a new summer top from Mrs. Martinez that screamed my name, it was long and flowing, and floral.

The next gift was poorly wrapped, yet adorable. It was snowman wrapping, and the tape was clearly placed in the wrong spot. The bow was stuck right in the middle, and written quite sloppy in the corner read Nudge.

I tore the wrapping off quickly, leading me to a cardboard box. As I opened it, all that was in there was a piece of paper, decorated sweetly. I picked it up, and Ella smiled at me knowing something I didn't. In the far right it said, _To Nudge From Iggy._ In swirly font, unlike his usual blind slop. Ella pinched Iggy, and he smiled, but it quickly faded as he unwrapped some of his gifts. She continued to do as he did, unwrapping her as well.

In big capital letters the front read, READ WHEN TIME IS RIGHT. I almost laughed, how was I supposed to know when the time was _"right"_. I stared blankly at the note, and thought up all the possibilities that could be waiting patiently on the inside of it. A love letter, a go away letter, a letter telling me our kiss meant nothing. Ouch, that would hurt.

I held the note tightly, and smiled, then placed it back in the box.

We all were in the kitchen, we decided to make cookies, all of us together. Max's suggestion, of course. Mrs. Martinez, Max, and Ella began on mixing together butter and brown sugar in a big blue bowl. I spotted Iggy cracking eggs into a white bowl, near the mixing thing that brought back memories. I walked up to him and took one, cracking it with one hand.

"Its so cool when chefs do that, crack eggs with one hand." I said, proud of my accomplishment. He didn't answer me. "Thanks for teaching me how." I said sweetly. No response. I was becoming quite impatient and confused.

"Iggy, about your gift, when exactly is the right time?" I asks sarcastically, placing my hand on top of his on the counter. He pulled it away just at the brush of my fingers.

"Excuse me." he mumbled, walking to the other side of the kitchen to join Gazzy and Angel. I felt a part of my insides crumbled up and fall hard to the ground. And Iggy's sneaker just stepped all over it. What was going on? Whatever it was, I didn't like it.

My face went dull, and Max came towards me. "You ok hun?" She asked under her breath.

"Just peachy." I said dull and straight forward. I saw Iggy leave the kitchen, and I followed after him.

He walked towards the pantry we had, a little room. Smart, sending the blind kid to get ingredients, though we all knew what he was capable of, he could make the whole batch on his own. I entered after him, closing the door of the tight space.

"Whats wrong with you?" I said, placing my hand on my hip. He stayed staring at the shelves of cans and seasonings, as if looking for the right one. "Answer me!" I yelled out, he flinched at my voice.

"I don't know what your talking about." He said, running his finger along the shelf.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about." I retorted, "We kissed, ok! And if I'm not totally out of my mind, we both felt something." I yelled, though trying to stay quiet, to avoid later on flock confrontation.

"I don't know what your talking about." He simply said again, ignoring my gaze.

"Iggy grow up!" I said, spinning him to face me, thank god he couldn't see the hurt in my expression, the tears almost escaping my eyes.

"Nudge grow up! Your 15! Your like my sister! I only kissed you because of the mistletoe! Ok?" He yelled back at me, and my voice cracked. Tears flooded from my eyes, and down my weary face. I was broken, torn, gone beyond repair. But the look in his face after he said it was unreal, there was no emotion. If he meant it, I would tell, I couldn't tell.

"You don't mean that." I whispered.

"I do." He said sorely, unwillingly.

It took all the strength in my body to get the last word, when naturally it was only petty weight for my chatter mouth.

"They say you don't know what you've got till its gone," I started, croaking out my words, "..but you always knew what you had, you just never thought you'd lose it. You just lost it." I said, storming to the door of the tight room. I saw Iggy's head bow, and it almost sounded like he was crying. But I was so far gone in my mind, I honestly didn't care. I didn't know what this meant, or what would happen next, but I knew there was only one person right now that could make anything better...

**DON'T HATE ME ):**

**I had to do it(: Next chapter is going to be super sexy(: Hopefully 3**

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	12. Persephone

**OH MY GAWD. Its been like a week! I'm so sorry guys! ); Anyways, here is the next chapter.**

***Disclaimer: I feel obligated to put this since of my absence, Maximum ride is in no way owned my me, except for the copies of the books on my dresser. (;**

**ENJOY (:**

It was beautiful, lovely, magical. Just a meadow with no horizon, and flowers with no end. Colors till dots like a painted picture, the day where the sun bounces off everything in sight, making the corners light. A blanket on the grass, plaid and red. The oxygen was fresher then the apples on the trees, and I sighed happily as I inhaled it. He said he used to come here when he was younger, with his mother. He said he knew this whole place inside and out, petal to petal. He said in the winter it was genuine, the only winter wonderland. He said he was happy to bring me here, I was happy to come.

After another deep exhale, I turned to him. I was sitting on the blanket, feeling as if everything was perfect. And he, he sat as I did, taking everything out of the brown laced basket one by one. I looked at him intensely, as he studied everything he removed. Dedicated, he placed it nicely around us on the blanket. His outline shined of white, as he sun behind him highlighted his silhouette.

There wasn't any noise but the wind's whisper against the branches. He looked so different today. He dressed not in black, but in a nice shirt, buttoned down and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His spikes fell un-gelled and soft against his face. Brushing his neck slightly, and streaking over his forehead. He was completely out of character, yet utterly right in place. Through all the difference, one thing never changed. The gold of his chinky kitten eyes that stared at me from his tanned skin. They seemed strong, yet concerned. He narrowed the space between his eyebrows, and broke the sweet silence.

"So whats wrong." He said straight out, not a question, a statement, typically like himself.

"Huh?" I said confused, dragging my orbs away from the scenery, and to his clear face. I looked at him innocently.

"You said something _"major"_ happened, so I brought you here. Care to share?" He said, saying major in a _supposed to be Nudge_ voice, making me giggle at his ego.

"It's, not important, I just needed something to get it off my mind." I said, looking away and setting my focus on nature. He was silent for a moment, breathing in my statement. He almost felt defeated.

Then I felt his soft fingers against the edge of my caramel chin, he turned my face to his still holding it. My breath flew out at the stare of his intense eyes, and the side of his mouth lifted,

"Nudge, you know you can tell me anything." He whispered, not letting go of my gaze. Right there, I felt obligated to tell him everything, the wings, the run, Iggy, my awkward infatuation of dead butterflies, everything. But I didn't I simply, caught my breath and stayed silence. He smirked and let go, taking a jab at a sandwich and plopping down on the grass. He relaxed one arm behind his head, while one held the sandwich.

"You do know, laying down while eating is hazardous." I uttered his way, smiling at his carelessness.

"Last time I checked you weren't my mother." He spat through crumbs, and I just rolled my eyes and looked away.

"I'm rolling my eyes." I said blankly.

"Uhm, yea, I noticed..." He trailed off, and I felt completely stupid, he wasn't Iggy, he wasn't blind, he wasn't...

I stayed silent and just pretended it never happened.

"Do you know, why we have spring and winter?" He asked, as if it were un-obvious.

"Well, last time I checked, it wasn't because earth has mood swings." I answered sarcastically, and he chuckled.

"No, not all scientifically, I mean the spiritual way." He said, looking at me from the corner of his eyes. An effect that had me at my knees, just by the look alone.

"You didn't come off as the spiritual type." I teased, popping another grape into my mouth.

"Persephone, was with her mom, and like the little rascal we all are inside, she strayed too far from the tree," He started. I had heard the story a million times, and almost every year in language arts, but hearing his voice croak it made me all the more interested. I listened intently.

"She wanted to, pick flowers I believe, and boy did she make a bad choice." He added, he cut the story short, "Turns out it was a trap, and she was sent to be Haiti's, you know underworld satin_ blah blah_, wife." He said, and I laughed at his attitude toward it, at his lack of facts yet proud exterior.

"Where are we getting with this?" I muttered.

"Shh now young padawan, you're ruining the story." He uttered, waving his hand at me to shush me up. I laughed. He rose from his laying position to sit up, and face me as he continued. "Her mama was furious, and she was allowed to stay with her mom for six months out of the year." He said getting closer, and waving his hands with his words.

"Yea, six months of sunshine, six of cold." I said.

"Oh dear! You're not supposed to intrude on the story! You're ruin it!" He said sarcastically acting, and I rolled my eyes at him, and smiled. He let out a laugh and continued. "The six months she is with her mother she is her happiest, and the flowers boom. The six where she is with Haiti's are her saddest, where it is cold and no crops grow." He said, smiling proudly.

"Again, what was the point of that?" I asked half joking half oddly curious.

"You can't force love," He said, leaning closer to me, till we were face to face. Stealing my breath away like a trained thug, but something was different. The look he wore was not his usual. He showed no sign of joke, or being spontaneous. This was obviously well thought out, and it was obviously unexpected. His eyes wore no lust or longing, but passion and, what was that, love? I could feel the small release of my bottom lip as I stared at him, and he added. "..you can't ignore it either." He said, and before I could comically respond, his nectarous lips were embracing mine. It wasn't forced, it wasn't rough, or strong, or Kiyah. Instead it was smooth, and slow, and fitted.

His wet tongue glided against the bottom of my lip, asking for my permission, not just going and taking what it incontestably begged for. I opened my mouth slowly, and everything fell into place. My hands deeply tangled in his fluffy dark hair. His fingers gripping my neck, and the others barely prickling my waist. My back comfortably against the plaid blanket. The sun seeping from around his aura. Everything. Perfect could not describe.

It was different, I felt as if Iggy and Kiyah had switched places, and now he was the shy and sweet one. He smiled into the kiss, that I felt was never ending. It took long to realize I had to breath through my nose.

He released me slowly, but I didn't dare open my eyes. The sun still managed to shine through my lids, and into my brain, filling it with bright and happy thoughts. Everything anyone ever said disappeared into the past, and all that mattered was right now. This very moment, Kiyah flipping on his back to lay beside me and stare at this sky. I didn't have to be a genius to see the perfect in what did matter, the perfect in him.

**WELL. THERE GOES(: CAPS CAUSE I"M HAPPY.**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW PUHLEASE. THEY MAKE ME HAPPY. **

**~*Paint_Em_Red*~**


	13. Lock Me In Your Heart

**UGHHH, I'M SO ASHAMED. Two weeks guys, I feel really horrible. I must say, I am honestly sorry for spelling Hades wrong, but I didn't want to take the chapter down and re-post it because people commented already :|. Anywho, this chapter is really not one of my favs, or my best of work. But, it will have to do. ;o Hope You Enjoy(: **

***DISCLAIMER: I own Kiyah, case closed.**

As I stared blankly out my small white framed window, I thought of all the things that occurred in the past, weeks? I went from a typical teenage girl, which is unusual for that of my type, to a girl full of love. Controlled by love. Traumatized by love. A girl in love.

Love, I had always known it to be a strong, commonly used word, to show affections towards another. I had only used it in one way, towards my flock, they were my family, and the only ones I would ever love. Though, that was a different love. Then there's the love people take advantage of, the one that comes and goes, and breaks the people it passes by. I never expected to feel it, not even a little bit. I only expected pain, and betrayal, hate, and more pain. You couldn't blame me really, what was I? I was not normal, I had foot after foot of feathered flappers growing out of my back. I had a family of bird kids, I talked faster then speed racers. Why would I expect to feel something as normal as love? Oh, that must be because, love is not normal.

Its a word, taken advantage of, used and mistreated. It has a bad reputation, known for tricking people. Its hard to find, and easy to lose. Its everything and nothing. Then why was I so lucky, to have found it twice in a matter of months? To have lost it once, and made up for it with another. If love was so rare, why was it always staring me in the face? This gift, a curse. The wind blowing through the micro holes of the window's screen, so refreshing yet so cold?

I released my legs from my grip, and slid off my bed to the carpeted floor. I would not fly tonight, even as I dreamed of it, I could not fly tonight. I couldn't not drop out of the air and die, for all that was on my mind.

My soft pink polka dot pajamas pants brushed against my legs as I fled for the door of my room, when something on the side of my view turned my head. There, on my desk, there it was just sitting nonchalantly waiting for my presence. I turned, and slowly made my way toward it. Once more examining a cardboard box as I did the day I received it. I opened it, and stared at the small piece of paper that still lied at the bottom of the box. I aimed for it, pulling it out slowly.

Just holding it made me think of him, his touch, his smile, his eyes, our kiss. _Our kiss_.. I hadn't spoken to him since, and it was honestly killing me. But I did anything and everything I had to make sure he was last on my mind, and that required Kiyah being first.

I brushed my thumb across the girly writing I knew was obviously not Iggy's. Still untouched from Christmas morning, still reading READ WHEN TIME IS RIGHT. Even if the time wasn't right, the time was still ticking. I contemplated opening it, and figured it couldn't kill. But knowing Iggy and Gazzy...it could hurt a whole lot.

I flipped the tape off of it, and flicked it open suddenly. Inside it read oddly neat,

_Dear Nudge,_

_HA! You opened it, so the time must be right. But knowing you, you can never be quite sure...ANYWAY, let me take you on a trip my dear._

_You ask, you think, why? Why a letter? WHERES THE MONEY, ha, no. There is no money, BOOHOO. But, there is something._

_Christmas is about FUN and EXCITEMENT and and and and and and, you catch my drift. So, I decided I shall not give you a gift and call it a done deal. I am going to make you search for it. Cheesy huh? Scavenger hunt..so second grade! But hey, I didn't have schooling most of my life so..who knows what grade I'm really in._

_Well, my pretty, have fun~_

_SUPERDUPERMEGA HINT..._

_Solve the riddle._

_Go to the place where everything is free._

_Make a sound and you'll be...errmm...squeezed?_

_Behind star crossed lovers, past family feuds._

_To the war fought with chocolate, and, and...where I left my dues._

_..Yeah I know, I'm not very good at this ok!_

_Merry Christmas, From Iggy._

I couldn't help but laugh, not at the failure of his riddle, but how unbelievably charming and adorable Iggy could be...in a letter. I re-read it once more, taking in every line this time still having a faint giggle. "behind star crossed lovers" Oh please, how much more obvious could he get? Romeo and Juliet, who doesn't know that?

So it had to be near a book, books are in libraries, am I right? I opened my door, slowly swinging it so the creek did not wake the others. I tip toed to the library in the house, passing my each room, stopping at one.

Iggy's blue door stared intensely at me, watching me watch it. The letters dangling down, spelling out his abnormal and fitting name. I shook my head, turned, and continued to the library. Holding the note tightly in my hand, I silently walked in and looked around in the darkness. It was not pitch black, a faint light flashing over parts of the room from a lit candle on a desk. How was i supposed to find that book, in a dark room fulled with thousands of others?

I walked deeper in, searching from one corner and hoping to make my way to the other. I got to the second self before I realized I wouldn't be finished with half the room by morning. I slipped the crinkled note from my pajama pocket, and unfolded it. I read it over about 100 times, trying to think of everything if anything that could relate. Then I read the last line once more, feeling utterly insane that I had not noticed this before. It was obvious, and I was really ashamed. "to the war fought with chocolate" I read once more. I hadn't read many books in my 15 years, but from the ones I had read, The Chocolate Wars seemed to have my heart. Everyone knew it was my favorite story, it was interesting, it really made you think. It was mature, and immature at the same time. It was my very own page turner. Iggy knew that.

I had read it up a million times, I had memorized it's spot in this disorganized library. It had books scattered everywhere, being we never seemed to place the books we took out in the right spot. I remember one April fools, where Gazzy and Iggy insisted on moving The Chocolate Wars to the opposite side of library. I nearly died of a heart attack because I could not find it. I can't believe it slipped my mind.

I ran to the shelf I was sure it was at, and traced my finger across the mahogany shelves, collecting dusk on my the tip of my pointer. My eyes traced the titles and inspected each book from color to letter and all. There was a small gap between two novels on the shelf, and I sped up to them. Then it showed itself, written down the side of a dark hard covered case read in white thick letters, _The Chocolate War_. I let out a small laugh in excitement, for right beside it lied Shakespeare's classic. I stuck my hand in between the gap and pulled out a long metal chain.

The strip was thin, and on the end lied a silver heart, decorated in swirls and engraved designs. I held it in my hand for a moment, following the lines with my eyes. Opening it gently, staring back at me where two beautiful, happy, laughing faces. One with skin brown like mine, a tooth missing, yet she was not young at all. The other with sweet strawberry blond hair, and a smile to die for, that lit up the picture. How had he gotten that? It must of been times ago, when the flock first got hold of a camera. I remember it quite clearly now, me and him sneaking it from Max and wasting all the memory. But we lost that camera ages ago, and I don't recall developing the pictures at all. How had he gotten it, why had he kept them?

My finger traced the small heart frame, staring into his captured blue eyes, one close to blinking. We were so happy, best friends, perfect. It was perfect, and I had ruined that. I had to go and be Nudge, I had to fall for the one person I couldn't have, and ruin everything. The rumors were true, love pains anyone it passes by. And pain I had felt, pain harder then any robot punch. The pain in my chest right now had no compare, no compare.

I lost myself, before I heard something.

A subtle whisper, barely above the sound of the wind, sung from the door way.

"Nudge." It said calmly. I didn't panic, but I knew the voice. The voice I hadn't heard from in weeks, and the voice that still made my bones weak. I crumbled the locket into my palm, and dropped my hand to my side. I turned to face the door, with a face so serious and strong I even convinced myself.

There he stood, leaning against the frame of the door, one foot tucked behind the other, arms crossed, face firm, smile silly. He looked from my face down my body, stopping at my hand that held the locket. I tucked the hand nearly behind my back, and stayed silent, waiting for him to break the silence. And after a while, he did, speaking seriously, "We have to talk."

**There It Goes, if there are any mistakes or so, I'm really sorry. No, the chocolate wars aren't really about a war with chocolate(: Sorry to get your hopes up! Its about a boy selling chocolate. **

**REVIEW REVIEWWWW PLEASE :D**

**Toodles My Dears.**

**~*Paint_Em_Red*~**


	14. Forget Me Not

**This is, a very very short chapter. Because, its just a smallish scene. I hope its worth it though(:**

***Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride, but I do own this plot.**

I watched him watch me. Staring at me as though he could see, could see the pained expression I held. As if he could sense all the infinity that lurked behind my skin, through me eyes, into my heart. I watched his iced eyes search over my body coldly, and I shuttered. His body learned comfortably against the frame of the door, one arm lied across his torso, the other sitting on top of the first, caressing his chin. How could he, how could he just stand there and not speak. The intensity inside me was building up, and I was no more then a second away from continuing for him. But, he beat me to it.

"Nudge," He let in, in a seductive whisper, "..whats happened to us?"

I sucked in a breath, placing the locket in my pajama pocket. I wiped my sweaty hand on the fabric nervously, and feared for answer. I did not want to answer, because I did not know the answer.

"I, its been a long time," he started, saving me from my misery...barely. "You haven't spoken to me, for so long, and, I-I." He continued, but stopped. He looked around, I followed his eyes, as they led to nowhere. "I miss you." he said.

I had missed him, that I knew I had to admit. I had missed every inch of him, and his shaking voice, and his loving smile, his blue orbs. I had missed mornings in the kitchen, and late night confrontations. I had missed him, no doubt about it. But, after everything, that's all he could say? He missed me.

I sucked in my pride and fear, and spoke like a true me, "Missed me? You missed me? That's it, you kiss me, yell at me, ignore me, and all you can say is you missed me? Well, I missed you too Iggy, but not that much." I added such fire in my voice, I felt my body stiffen with hate. I wanted what I said to hurt him, I wanted him to feel every inch of pain I had.

I quickly, as quickly as possibly, stomped and strutted out of the library door, attempting to brush past him. I failed, as his body stood straight, and he quickly flung his arm to grab mine. We stood there, for what felt like a lifetime, until he turned me to face him. And he stared at me with wanting eyes, watching mine, like he could see the brown.

His lips parted, but nothing escaped them. I could feel the warm tickle of a tear sink down my cheek, tasting the salt as it touched my lips. His grip on me vanished, but I did not move.

"I didn't want to lead you on." He said. That was it, I was ready to explode, my lips opened, and my eyes narrowed. I was beginning to speak, when his long thin finger found its way to my mouth. It placed itself over my lips and begged for my silence, and I stopped.

"I didn't want you to fall for me. I didn't want you love me, because I didn't want to hurt you. Max, the flock, who we are. It wouldn't work, it couldn't work. Ella, she, shes amazing, but shes not you Nudge. I didn't want to put you in a position where I could ever hurt you. You might think I hurt you, but the pain you could of felt later on could have been worse, I didn't want to risk anything. Nudge, I didn't want you to fall for a blind kid who isn't good enough for you. And really, truth is, I was scared I was falling too." he said, with such emotion I felt it. His arms swayed as he spoke it, he paced around the library, as if it was obvious. But me, I just stood in the same spot, and took it all in, for there was no response.

He waited patiently. From the corner of my eye I could see him, standing in the library, facing the door. His hand lied in his blond hair, and one dropped down by his side. What was I supposed to say to him? Was I supposed to accept everything? I felt a rush of emotions fill over me, and I squeaked as I held back tears. My hands covered my mouth, and every drop of pain I was ignoring seeped through the corners of my eyes.

He responded to my weeps, and came quickly towards me. "Nudge!" he called, reaching for my arm once more. But for some reason, I could not control myself. I could not stop everything I was feeling. I swung my arm to shake his fingers off, and quickly retreated from the library. But, I couldn't keep him wanted more. I couldn't have him follow me, and try to talk this out. Not now, I had to be alone. So, unwillingly, I called out while running, "Just forget it Iggy._ Just forget me_."

**Hmm, If any of my "I"s aren't capital, I apologize. My shift was being estupido. So, short chap, but I kinda liked it. Next one has bright lights, and nice rides. (; **

**Until Next Time:**

**~*Paint_Em_Red*~**


	15. There Are Many Different Ways To Do It

**OH MY GOD GUISE UGH. I stopped logging on and editing because I lost inspiration for the story, I didn't think it was a big deal or how much it effected you guys. I honestly only logged in occasionally to read zutarra fics/etc. I've been really busy with stuff and I started rping (role playing) late July and my writings been dedicated to other things. I read the reviews and felt so horrible for what I did. I can't say I'm fully dedicated and that you guys should have any hopes because I'm extremely busy and have recently been falling out of my writing funk but I wanted to make up for it with this chapter (it's pretty long) and hope for the best. It's a turning point I suppose.**

**(Also I turned 15 last week! And I went to see hunger games and jesus crunch it was perf!)**

**Disclaimer: blah blah blah you know what to put here lalalala don't own lala charries la**

There are always those certain things that pull you out of blue states, they take the hardest stares and most genuine frowns and make them impossible to keep. Those certain things that, when you're not paying attention, and when all the pressure you put upon your grudge to keep it infuriated, always seem to overcome your troubles and make you smile. Those things, whether it is a person or an event, a time of day or way of life, a little sunlight peeking through the clouds on a rainy day, those things, they never fail. I can remember the last time I smiled along with many times in the past, because it's not like I never have and never will again and my memory and hope contain them, but within the past week of breathing and ignoring two very different boys I can also say I have not smiled along the way.

The bright sparkling colors against the night sky backdrop changed that; the loud ringing of adolescent screaming and speakers going off with the commercial toned voice changed that. The rides were fast and I could tell by the scared yells and cheers coming from above me, everything was full, too full of childhood that it left no room for pubertal feelings. Here I was, happier to be here than I had planned when I opened the little box, in the heart of the child that I secretly wished I could go back to being, but knew it was far too late now, and this was as close to it as I was going to get.

"What should we ride first?" she had cotton candy in her hand fluffed up in a spin of pink and blue, it was like a cloud on a stick, as soft as the white ones in the sky felt like. Her brown hair entirely unlike my big curls waved around her face, soft and pretty. She was fairly attractive with the little resemblance of Max and a sure score for any boy, even if they couldn't see her.

I had lost my hostility towards going to the carnival with Ella once we got there, the adrenaline of fun was just one of those certain things, those things that got to me and brought me to a whole new peace, and Ella must have known this, though how she found out I couldn't lay a finger on, we've barely spoken.

"Crazybird, before it gets too crowded." After a good look at the rides nearby I had decided on it. The Crazybird was the main attraction at the fair, the biggest ride out of them all, which wasn't really saying much being that these rides had to be built up and taken down repeatedly while on tour, they weren't very extravagant.

We stood behind a taller man whose hand stayed clung to that of a smaller stature, a smaller girl with short sandy hair and chocolate speared all over her, probably, rosy cheeks. She was so happy, so excited, and the height of the rollercoaster from her view must have been like visiting the Great Wall of China. My mind told me I'd give anything to switch places with her, she was worriless and carefree and everything I would of killed to be at life's moment, but my heart would have passed up any chance I was given for a fair trade. She was fragile and naïve which I gave up being many years ago, remembering the amount of time it took me to gain respect as I grew up, which I was still in the process of attainment. She had nothing my life had, no pain or sorrow, the benefit of the doubt but she also loved no further than her teddy bear at her bedside while I had loved and lost. She could fly in her daddy's arms but she, she could not soar when he let go, while I could touch the clouds, where I had the benefit of the doubt.

"She's so cute" Ella said behind me and I admired her trying to make conversation with me, sure I was pleased to be there but I was not comfortable, not after where I left off with Ig-with my brother, nothing was comfortable, not even the tucked in plaid shirt on my back seemed to feel fitted against my skin. "I remember when I was that age; I used to come to these all the time." She uttered.

I could have stopped the obnoxiousness sliding off my tongue but I couldn't help it, my soft smile faded with the turn of my lips, "I remember when I was that age too-" we moved up in the line close enough to obtain the next seats. "-I was trying to stay alive."

"Oh…right, well you did a good job." Ella smiled wearily at me with a shrug but I didn't look at her past the view of my peripheral vision and walked on.

We both took seats in the Crazybird, a pair of two where the six seating cart had wings painted along the side, white like an angel's. There was a loud sighing as the rod traveled down to keep us in place and the rumble of the tracks moved, vibrating under us. I expected a slow hesitant movement of the cart against the rusted steal tracks but to my wonder it started with a bang, quickly dropping without losing speed and I necessarily opened my mouth to belt.

The brunette at my right beat me to it with her high pitch screaming compared to my deeper cry. I couldn't help but laugh, or attempt to, at how sequenced and combined our yells were, symphonically moving at the same pace. Her soft skin gripped around my hand and, hesitantly, I returned it with a tightening squeeze to her palm. The wind of the winter night blew hard against us and pressed us back against our seat greater than the speed did. It was as close to flying as I could get in public without causing a scene, the feeling with eyes closed that nothing in the empty sky could touch me; it was another one of those things, but it didn't come close to the actual.

The ride was fast and over before I had wished but I was content as we stepped off the platform. Dizzy and nauseous Ella fell at me and reflexively I grabbed at her waist to balance her. We both laughed, me at how effective a kitty ride was on the 100% human girl, and her at something else.

"We've got to do that another time before we go, please!" she begged while stumbling over to gain balance and I obliged with a nod seeing my way into the crowd.

We, the both of us, danced around the fair and played our luck at the stands and games, tossing stuffed knitted balls at bottles with horrible aim and spraying targets with shooting water till the bars filled up, and eventually we managed a big pink furred bear half my size that Ella kept help under her arm. Though she insisted I keep it when we returned back home, apparently she had far too many in her room, which I would have believed even had not seeing it.

My eyes feasted upon it, the largest thing on the field, spinning counterclockwise with its parts painted bright to shine even in the dark. Ella was chattering behind me but walked up to my level with a silent mouth to gaze in the direction that held mine; once again she had spoken while I remained oddly silent.

"The Ferris wheel!" her voice was falsetto and sharp against my eardrum and I nearly flinched at it beside me. "We should get on it!" and before I could disagree, which I would not have, she had her hand gripped around my wrist and she was pulling me towards it, we took our seats in a pair and waited for others to be filled.

Everything was in a pair, in two, nothing ever seemed to be singular, nothing was ever made for simply one, and it was scary how independent nothing was. People where expected to be with another just as pants had holes for two legs, just as we had to thumbs and two eyes, as if it where necessary people where thrown together, being alone was dubbed insane. People who created these criteria, the two seated rides and passenger seats, failed to realize we only had one heart, which beat solemnly on its own.

Right as we rose slowly while the wheel turned, a new kind of flying, Ella looked at me, "You've been quiet, not quiet, but like quieter than you usually are. Is everything ok?" her eyes were big and curious, but they cared; they seemed to actually care for me with concern I couldn't deny. I turned my body over to her as much as I could with the given spacing and she snuggled the pink bear closer to her body for warmth and security.

"It's just…I…" thinking of any words to describe what I'd been feeling underneath this well held smile was unmanageable, "Nothing I'm just really tired it's been a long week." The excuse was believable with my reassuring smile, but she was not fazed, she was not stupid, but she shrugged it off and I looked out into the crowd below us. The Ferris wheel was something entirely different, it was flying in slow motion, it allowed you to stop and see the same image, to study it and memorize it and see it close up in frozen terms where you could dissect it and breath it rather than race by it, it showed you everything you never stopped to see, the actual glisten of the stars.

"Iggy would have hated it here." It slipped out and I cursed myself in my head about it, his name, I had managed a while without speaking it or thinking it though his face reappeared constantly, his name remained unspoken of and yet so quickly, so unexpected, in a moment where I could have sworn I was not thinking of him, he squirmed his way back into my thoughts and out through my mouth with full regret and a bite of my lip.

"Why do you say that?" the sweet, apparently oblivious girl beside me edged on.

"He doesn't like loud, crowded places." I started, knowing I was far too in to stop now so suddenly. "He says it's harder to see, harder to feel around him. There are too many people to be sure of anything and it's too loud to hear any natural sounds he moves by, its worse than getting lost for us not blind people, because we can actual see maps and where to turn and a way out, and he's just…stuck. Too scared to move." With a shrug I spoke this, a shrug that read 'no big deal, next topic' but beyond the black printed script begged for more questions, because I could answer them all, I knew everything about Iggy, that is, up until recently where I couldn't understand anything he did.

"Wow I would hate to be blind." She said, and that was the end of that, supposedly. "Why don't you talk to him?" she asked sincerely curious and my body trembled under the thousands of unexplainable reasons to 'why'.

"What?" was all I could manage.

"Why don't you speak to him anymore?"

"I do."

"Not like you used to Nudge."

"What do you know? You don't know anything about us! I talk to him just fine ok." I was defensive now, because she was right, and if she of all people could notice the distance I could only imagine how it appeared to everyone else, to him, because I had ignored it for so long it was artificial to me.

"No you don't," still she seemed unstirred by my raise of voice; she knew I could grow angry but ignored it. "You two used to be best friends, always. Whenever I saw him he was with you and now he's like, never with you. What happened?" her face turned to me, expression so cautious and curious and concerned to the point where I truly believed she was there for me and cared for me.

So I spilled. As much as I would allow myself to.

"He hurt me Ella, I wouldn't expect you to understand. I let him hurt me and confuse me and friends; they don't do that, so I stopped. I didn't let him hurt me anymore." It was simplistic and vague but enough to get my point across, her appearance grew shocked and confused.

"Really? I would have never guessed." She said leaning back against the seat.

"What? I mean-why not?"

"Iggy likes you so much, why would he hurt you?" the girl seemed honestly muddled about the situation, as if it was the craziest thing in the world.

"What are you talking about?" here I found myself asking the most questions in contrast.

"When we go out he talks about you a lot, what you guys did recently or something funny you said-" she started and with my eyebrows scrunched I paid close attention to her words, taking them all in with a heavy heart. "You're really funny by the way, so he says. I always figured he liked you or something, I can't believe that he would hurt you, it's impossible." Her words began to grow lower as she moved farther from me, stepping out of our seats and out into the crowd expecting me behind her, and as I caught up I found myself missing most of what she said but too eager to rewind.

"Wait but doesn't he like you?" I asked out darting for her side.

"Are you kidding? I can't get him to kiss me despite how much I've tried, and I've tried. Iggy is so adorable, and sweet, but after a while you stop trying when all a guy does is talk about another girl." The tone of her voice moved up and down with her syllables but she spoke without hostility, waving around her hands and walking. It was growing late and the lights on some of the rides and stands began to turn off, the crowd was much emptier and I followed her as she made her way to the exit.

"Really? You…I mean, really?" I couldn't think of any questions, any words, any reaction other than internal shock.

"Yes really, he was never interested in me I could tell. I might seem totally oblivious but I know when a guy likes me and I guess he just didn't, or I'm completely wrong here. Which is why I can't believe he would actually hurt you, hm, I don't know Nudge. Do you think maybe you hurt him?" she rambled on and I stopped at the thought.

"What?" a common word I seemed to utter a lot today after every time Ella spoke.

"I'm sorry that was stupid, forget it. I just think you guys should stop not talking because like, you guys are close friends and you shouldn't ruin that over something, whatever it was. She stopped far enough away from the site and held her arms out as if she could fly herself.

She was right, I had hurt Iggy, I had turned him down and pushed him off and ignored his eyes, his voice, his touch, and everything and each memory that surrounded him. I had done this all to myself, I had made the mistake, it was I who lost one of the closest people to me and whether or not it be friends or something more, I was going to get it back. Whatever it was, the small laughs at the dinner table that were only understood by the two of us, I was going to get it back.

But for now I couldn't disagree with the brunette girl, she was sweet and true and cared for me more than I gave her credit, and within the few hours we spent at the fair I realized I had gained a friend as quickly as I had lost one. I would wake up to her tomorrow morning and greet her with a smile, the first smile in a while she would get from me without having to provoke it, and she had earned it. I wasn't sure whether I was accepting Ella because I knew she was no longer contest or because she had actually proven she needed no contest. Either way, as I went behind her to grip her outspread arms into mine and take off for home I looked down at her body. If she fell there was no way she would survive, she had no plan B like the wings on my back, she was a goner. I looked down at her, her knotless hair dancing in the wind, she was not as oblivious as she appeared when we arrived, she knew the risks of what she was doing and yet, with a bright smile, she trusted me. I trusted her too.

**Well there you go (: it was a twist because Nudge doesn't see Ella as this evil seductive person who was 'stealing' Iggy from her in the beginning, but as a sweet ditsy girl who cares about her while at the same time learning Iggy was really hers all along. The problem though, which I haven't come about yet, is the fact that she loves Kiyah as well, who's never denied his feelings towards her and straightforwardness goes a long way. I hope this was enough to apologize and I don't know when my next time back will be, hopefully not in another year.**

**-Till next time, Chels.**


End file.
